kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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