dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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