you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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