Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
