I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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