And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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