yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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