I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
