you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize