I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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