we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
