How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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