Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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