im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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