I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
