i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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