He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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