Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
