i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
