Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
