20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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