And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
