Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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