Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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