Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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