oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
