You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
