I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
