He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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