I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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