I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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