Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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