I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
