i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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