I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
