i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
