Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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