Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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