You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
