I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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