Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
