I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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