if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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