I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize