some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
