This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are the jesus of drinking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
