office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
