I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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