Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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