Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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