that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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