Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize