why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
