Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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