Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
