the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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