Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
why is half of my head shaved?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
