its not stalking. its research.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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