around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
